A divorce can be a stressful time, especially for children. Children are often caught in the middle of their parent’s disagreements, and they don’t understand why their homes aren’t safe anymore. If you’re going through a divorce with children, it’s important to remember that your kids need love and support just as much as you do. Here are some ways you can help support your children through this difficult time:
1. Hiring a Family Law Specialist
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A family law specialist can help you understand the process. They can explain the legal system to you and walk you through what each step involves, as well as how long it will take. This is important because one of the main things you want to avoid during this process is being blindsided by something unexpected or complicated and experts who have been through this many times before know what kinds of issues may arise along the way.
A family law specialist can also help your child understand their rights. It’s vital that children feel empowered in their situation so that they feel safe expressing themselves and sharing their feelings with an unbiased third party, such as a therapist or mediator (but not necessarily one from your side). By hiring someone who specializes in child custody cases specifically, they’re less likely to provide biased opinions about which parent should win custody battles based on personal experiences rather than objective facts about both parties involved in those cases which means less fighting between parents.
2. Meet Therapy
Counseling is a form of therapy that helps people with mental health concerns. Counseling is recommended for both children and adults in the aftermath of divorce, as it can help them cope with the changes they’re experiencing.
There are several types of counseling:
- Psychotherapy is an individualized approach to the diagnosis, treatment, or prevention of a mental health disorder. It helps you explore your thoughts and feelings to change those that are causing distress or dysfunction in your life.
- Counseling focuses on helping you develop healthy social skills and relationships so that you feel better about yourself overall. This can include group therapy sessions where one-on-one sessions are not available locally; however, individualized counseling remains more effective when treating more complicated problems such as posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
3. Don’t Put Your Kids in the Middle
As your children are growing up, they will have many questions and concerns about their changing family situation. They may even ask you if they are responsible for causing the divorce, or if they could have done something differently to keep you and your ex-spouse together. Don’t put them in this position. Divorce is a difficult time for everyone involved and no one should blame themselves for what has happened between their parents.
It’s important to remember that your kids often don’t want to choose sides between two people who once loved each other and might still do so. Don’t put them in a situation where they feel compelled on some level to take sides because it’s better than having both parents hating each other; instead, encourage them not to take part in disputes between adults by reminding them that while you may disagree with another adult, being respectful and calm when there is tension around can help ease tensions as well as strengthen relationships down the road (in friendships as well as romances).
4. Give them space
Give your child as much space as possible. Children have to process what is going on in their way, and they may not be ready to talk about it. They don’t need you pushing them into a conversation that they are not ready for. Be patient with their needs and wait until they ask if they want to talk or not.
Don’t force them to answer questions about the divorce. It’s natural for kids to want answers when something big like this happens in the family, but sometimes it’s better just not knowing all of the details surrounding why parents are getting divorced. If your child asks you why you’re getting divorced, it’s okay if you don’t have an answer right away; instead of telling him something that might make him feel worse than he already does.
5. Let Them Talk About Their Feelings
Divorce is a difficult time for any child, but they may not be able to express their feelings easily. It’s important to let them talk about how they feel without giving advice or making judgments. Don’t tell them what they should be feeling or how you felt during your divorce; just listen and let them work through it on their terms.
6. Get Help for Yourself
- Find someone you can talk to about what you’re going through. This might mean talking to your kids, but it could also mean looking at other avenues, too like a therapist or clergy member.
- Ask for help from family and friends. Even if they don’t know exactly what to say or do, they can still be there for you.
- Get counseling for yourself, it will make a huge difference in how you cope with divorce and how well you take care of your kids during this time in their lives.
- Write in a journal (or start an email chain). Expressing feelings on paper can help relieve tension and stress, which are major sources of anxiety during divorce proceedings.
Conclusion
Divorce is a difficult time for children, and parents must take steps to support them. This can include providing reassurance that they will be okay and offering suggestions on how to cope with the situation. It is also helpful for parents to get advice from others who have gone through a divorce themselves, so they know what to expect in terms of emotions and behaviors from their kids.